When I called my dad from jail to bail me out, he hung up...it changed my life.

Troy "Sonny" Sonnleitner'

Sonnleitner Family | Brockton MA

I grew up in a small town in Western New York near Buffalo with my mom, dad, and two younger sisters. We were a church-going family. I was a practicing Catholic through my school years and even served as an altar boy until 11th grade. My mom was the one who drove our faith. My dad, who was Methodist, didn’t really take part in that side of life.

Like most kids in the 80s, both my parents worked, so I had to figure a lot out on my own. My dad was the president of the Chamber of Commerce in our town and ran a restaurant, but he was also a severe alcoholic. That combination meant I learned about most things in life on my own—drugs, alcohol, relationships, school—and I didn’t always make great choices. I let partying and popularity drive me. It all came crashing down in college when I was arrested for a string of thefts on campus to fuel my habits. When I called my dad from jail to bail me out, he hung up. That was rock bottom.

That night I cried out to God. I told Him if He was real, I needed to know. In that cell, I felt His presence for the first time. That was January 1989, and it changed my life.

My wife and I got married when she was 25 and I was 32, and we didn’t have our son until I was 39. Five years before he was born, someone spoke a prophetic word over us: “You will have a son, and he will be just like you.” And sure enough, they were right. My son has all the best parts of both of us, but he also has my stubborn streak and that know-it-all attitude I used to have.

I love being his dad, but I’ll admit I can slip into drill-sergeant mode sometimes. Other times I act more like his big brother. Thankfully, my wife and I balance each other out and keep learning how to parent together. After those moments where I blow up or go too far, I always circle back to tell him I love him.

Dad Academy helped me look at my own childhood and see how it shaped the kind of dad I want to be. My parents loved me, but they were busy, and we didn’t talk much about the deeper stuff. My wife and I have made communication a priority with our son. We talk about everything, even the awkward topics, because that’s how you grow trust.

We’ve also made him our first disciple. As senior pastors, we’ve had to be intentional about his spiritual growth, not just our congregation’s. Family dinners, getaways, and time together haven’t always been easy, but they’ve been worth every minute.

Now our son is sixteen. He loves Jesus, and he still loves us. To me, that’s winning.