Raising daughters in a world that constantly pressures them to conform is no small task

Brian Tumminello

Tumminello Family | San Juan Capistrano CA

I grew up in New Jersey with my brother and older sister. My parents were loving and supportive, and like a lot of families in our neighborhood, we were raised Catholic. We went to church on the big holidays and for weddings, baptisms, and funerals, but it wasn’t something we practiced every week. We didn’t pray before meals or at bedtime, mostly because it wasn’t part of my parents’ routine.

My dad was always involved in my life, especially in sports. He coached my teams and came to my games, and I knew he cared. But we didn’t really talk much about faith. We went through the motions of the Catholic traditions — Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving — but there weren’t any family rituals that made our home stand out from others.

As a dad now, I’ve faced my share of challenges. Early on, balancing work and family life was tough. I used to travel a lot when our three daughters were young. Thankfully, since COVID, I’ve been able to work remotely. That’s been a blessing. It lets me be present — to watch their games, take them to school, and just be part of their daily lives. But it also comes with distractions. During the summer, it’s hard to focus on work when I want to be involved in everything they’re doing.

The hardest part for my wife and me right now is balancing time between our three girls, who range from 2nd to 9th grade. Each one needs something different, especially in a world driven by screens and instant gratification. Setting boundaries that fit each age and stage can be a challenge, but we’re learning that consistency is key.

For example, we didn’t give our oldest daughter a cell phone until 8th grade. Now our 7th grader is asking for one because “everyone else has one,” but we’re standing firm. We want to protect our kids while still giving them experiences that help them grow.

Dad Academy reminded me how important it is to bring comfort when our children need it most. Raising daughters in a world that constantly pressures them to conform is no small task. That’s why we’re trying to live a Christ-centered life and be intentional as parents. One thing we’ve started is a weekly family meeting where everyone shares challenges and wins so we can support and celebrate together.

Another key lesson I’ve applied is proactive discipline — both for good and bad behavior. The secret is staying consistent and steady.

I’m so grateful for Dad Academy and the lessons I’ve learned. It’s helped me slow down, focus on what matters most, and recommit to being the best father I can be — not just for my daughters’ sake, but for the legacy I want to leave behind.