"Fatherhood isn't about Perfection"

Nick Gordon

Nick & Lisa Gordon | Concord NC

I can still remember the moment I realized my definition of family was shaped more by separation than togetherness. Both of my parents came from divorced homes, and their own marriage followed the same heartbreaking pattern. For what felt like at least a year, my parents were split, and I lived with my mom, siblings, and grandparents—my mom’s mom and stepdad. Stability felt fragile, as if the smallest disruption could send everything crumbling. When outside influences upset my parents, our world would shrink. Isolation became normal. I learned early on that love sometimes felt conditional and that conflict often led to withdrawal rather than resolution.

As a father, I strive not to repeat my parents’ mistakes, yet I often find myself slipping into familiar patterns. When life feels overwhelming, my instinct is to withdraw, much like my parents did. I’ve caught myself trying to control my family’s environment rather than nurturing them through challenges. Fear of failure sometimes drives me to overcorrect, creating distance rather than connection. I want to provide my children with security and peace, but I’ve realized that my desire for control can sometimes create an emotional gap between us. The hardest part has been recognizing that love isn’t just about protection—it’s about presence, even in the messiness of life.

Through Dad Academy, I’ve learned that fatherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about partnership. I must truly partner with my wife, working together rather than in isolation. More importantly, I’ve realized that I can’t lead my family well if I’m relying solely on my own strength. I must be led by the Holy Spirit, allowing God to guide me as I seek to create a home filled with wholeness and peace. Rather than withdrawing when challenges arise, I’m learning to lean in, to communicate openly, and to love unconditionally.

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is that my presence as a father matters more than I ever realized. It’s in the small moments—the bedtime stories, the prayers before school, the shared laughter at the dinner table—that true connection is built. My kids don’t need me to have all the answers; they just need me to be there, fully engaged, showing up day after day.

My goal is no longer just to avoid repeating the past but to build something new—a family built on faith, love, and unwavering commitment. I want my children to grow up knowing that home is a place of refuge, where they are seen, heard, and deeply loved. And for me, that starts with being the father God has called me to be—imperfect but present, learning as I go, and trusting that with His guidance, I can lead my family well.