"Fatherhood doesn’t come with a manual..."

MEA WONG

Mea & Jessica Wong | Hilo HI

I became a father at 24, living in a low-income apartment and relying on public assistance, and I quickly realized how unprepared I felt. My wife and I were just barely making ends meet, covering our bills month to month. On top of that, I was still processing my own childhood trauma. I had to figure out how to break the cycle and ensure that my past didn’t negatively impact how I raised my own children.

I grew up in a big family. If we went somewhere, we went as a family. It felt like we were always on the move—either in a basketball gym or on a baseball field. Unfortunately, that sense of togetherness ended when I was in seventh grade. My dad was an alcoholic, and his struggles led to verbal and physical abuse toward my mom. When she entered a new relationship, my father spiraled even further into addiction, and our family fractured. I ended up living with friends and family members who, thankfully, became strong male role models in my life. Some of these men I still call “Dad” today. They taught me core values like loyalty, hard work, and discipline—lessons that have shaped the man and father I am today.

One of the biggest lessons I learned through Dad Academy is that I don’t need to have all the answers—I just need to be purposeful about my parenting. I’ve always planned for work, for coaching, for just about everything else in life. But I never thought about planning as a dad. Sitting down with my spouse and creating a parenting plan changed everything for us. It gave us clarity, direction, and a shared vision for how we wanted to raise our kids. As the father of 2 boys and a girl, I’m focused on what can I do to support the dreams of my children, how can I challenge them, push them, motivate them and love them through it all. Dad Academy reinforced how important it is to be intentional in all aspects of fatherhood.

One of my favorite traditions that has come out of this journey is our morning prayer time. Every day on the way to school, we pray together as a family. We take turns, but we never force anyone to pray. Sometimes, my children will volunteer, even my five-year-old—and I love hearing his little prayers. In fact, on the busiest mornings, it’s often him who reminds us to pray. That is legacy.

Dad Academy hasn’t just strengthened my relationship with my children; it has also given me a new perspective. Perhaps the most unexpected blessing is that it has helped me restore my once-broken relationship with my own father. I can now proudly say that, at the time of this writing, he is 10 years sober. And for that, I am incredibly grateful.