By 15, I was in a gang. That be came my world...

Devin Harmatz

Harmatz Family | Desert Hot Springs CA

I’m a father of nine in a big, beautiful blended family. Life hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, spent time in gangs, and been in and out of prison. But I’ve also learned what it means to be a real dad, and that’s something I thank God for.

I grew up an only child. My parents split before I could even walk. When I was six, my dad moved to Australia, and I never saw him again. My mom tried for a while, but when her dad and sister died of cancer, she changed. She started partying more and being around less. I was on my own a lot, sitting in front of the TV or getting into trouble at school. Eventually they stuck me in special classes because nobody knew what to do with me.

When I was twelve, my mom and I moved in with my grandma and my uncle. My uncle was no role model. He was on drugs and liked to push people around. I started looking for acceptance somewhere else. By fifteen, I was in a gang. That became my world.

Because of that, I had no idea how to be a father. All I knew was I didn’t want to be like mine—gone and silent. But I was still living the same pattern, choosing the streets over my kids. I got divorced and became a weekend dad. When I started turning toward God, I realized how broken I really was. I felt shame, but also hope that I could change.

Everything began to shift when I got remarried. Together my wife and I have a blended family that includes our nine kids. That’s when I found Dad Academy. Jeff Hamilton and the other dads showed me a different way. I learned that being a father isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present. Some of the lessons that hit me hardest were simple things, like taking your kids with you when you run errands. Those car rides became some of the best conversations I’ve ever had.

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Now most of my kids are grown, and life hasn’t been easy. We’ve faced things I wouldn’t wish on anyone—kids in mental wards, kids running away, health scares—but I’ve learned to listen, to meet them where they are, and to love them the way God loves me. Dad Academy gave me tools, and Jesus gave me the strength to use them. I’m not the dad I used to be. I’m better now. And I’m still growing.